Shoplifters Beware

It's really very simple you see... If you're a crappy shoplifter, you deserve to get caught.

I take a certain amount of pride in my job, and I also mildly take it personal when someone who is incompetent gets away with stealing my product. It's not that I love the company so much that I can't stand to see them lose the $10 cost on that item, but it's become a game to me. I like to catch you mostly because I'm bored and I need the $100 in sales from those jeans you just stole.

There are three kinds of shoplifters: The good, the bad, and the ugly. If you're a bad shoplifter, please for the love of God give up now and go back to paying for your stuff.

I know the product on our floor fairly well, so when you've hung around for twenty minutes, and then spent another twenty minutes in the fitting room with those three pair of jeans in three different sizes never once coming out to use the three way mirror... I assume something is up... *hint* I call security.

Tag switchers are an especially ugly brand of shoplifter... They are the yellow bellies. They don't have the guts to just walk out with the merchandise and they are also dumb enough to think that we can't prosecute you for merely swapping prices, but SURPRISE! we can!
Arguing with me about my stupidity for not selling you that $97.50 Polo shirt for $7.50 is not going to get you anywhere but on my angry side. Please try again.

My manager recently caught a 24 year old woman tag switching. He called her out on it, called security, and at that point she peed her pants.

...I wish I was kidding.
In the middle of the department store, she peed in her pants. Prime example of a bad shoplifter.

We don't have security on site every day open to close, which I feel is the company's fault. Obviously it's not worth the cost of the item to them to put security tags on things or pay someone to be there that can do something about the problem. This boils down to me knowing that you're stealing, having proof, and when I call security and no one answers... you get to walk straight out of the store and there is not one single thing I can do to you. Enjoy those designer jeans!

Please, if you learned nothing else but this... don't pee your pants if you get caught shoplifting. It's embarrassing and people will laugh at you forever.

~The Goddess